Comfort.
Warmth.
A
feeling of peace and security.
An
occasional jolt that wakes me from a dream of more comfort and warmth.
That
is me.
And
I am happy.
A
warm flow of nutrition infuses me with a sense of renewed peace, and my stomach
grows.
I
realize that there are flashes coming across my face that I don’t understand.
But they are not frightening.
Liquid
oozes about my form, and I enjoy the feel of it.
My
hand touches something on my face that points out; it has two holes. I wonder
their use?
Everything
seems to have one here.
Last
week, I found out that two strong hard elongations from the bottom of my
stomach seem to allow me to push off from one spot in my place of warmth, to
another.
It’s
hard to describe.
But
there’s so much to explore!
When
I am not enjoying rest and flow of energy into my stomach, I’m exploring!
Oh-
something happened yesterday.
I
found out that the two bumps attached to the sides of my face experience
something so unique that the other parts of me do not.
It’s
hard to explain, but it’s almost like vibrations in another dimension.
Sometimes it is like the beating of my heart, but as if the beating doesn’t
stop in intervals. It’s like my swimming in the ooze; it goes up at times, and
down at others. Other times, it’s so faint, I can barely feel it.
I
don’t know that I’m feeling it, or if it’s something else.
Like
I said, it’s like another dimension.
One
more thing; I found a sucking device inside my face! It’s amazing…I can put
things in it! I did it twenty minutes ago with something that’s elongated from
the space between my head and stomach.
The
texture was an experience like none other. It was bumpy and soft. But I didn’t
want to suck too hard. It seemed to cause a feeling that was not comfortable at
all.
I
can’t wait to experience more of whatever there is to happen.
Each
bit of it all seems so much more exciting than the last!
I resolve to sit back,
relax, and let what’s going to happen, happen.
Hm…maybe
a nap is called for?
Consciousness
begins to leave me.
I start
drifting off and dreaming about more surprises.
About
the comfort.
The
warmth.
The
peace.
The
security.
And
of course, more discoveries.
Usually,
a jolt wakes me.
But
sometimes, that doesn’t happen.
And
I get to be wrapped for an even longer time in that amazing feeling.
But
wait.
Wait.
Something’s going on.
Something.
Something.
I
instantly feel it.
How?
Don’t
ask me.
I
don’t know.
But
I know something’s up.
A new adventure!
My
place of comfort seems a little squished.
Maybe
that’s what it is…
No.
The
ooze.
That’s
it.
It’s
dryer.
The
ooze is starting to flow in a queer direction.
This
isn’t normal.
My
heart skips a beat.
A
new adventure!
I’ve
never been past this place of comfort; perhaps my time is finally come! I have
often wondered since I’ve been here whether there is any other place.
Maybe…just
maybe….if I follow the ooze, I will find it!
I
resolve to allow myself to go with the flow of the liquid surrounding me.
I
realize there is a new sensation coming over me.
Guess
what? It’s another absolutely new one!
It’s
not warmth. It’s something else.
And
it makes my frame jitter a bit.
I’m
not sure I like it.
But
I’m for any new fun thing.
My
nerves are reacting a little, but that’s ok.
I
just want a new adventure.
No
pain, no gain, right?
Besides,
everything here so far has been great; what reason do I have to look back now?
My
heart skips another beat as the feeling intensifies.
And
there is that vibration.
Only
this time, it is so strong, I’m shaking heavily.
And
you know how I told you I found out I have a suction device in my face?
Well,
guess what?
I’m
feeling something like that now!
Only,
it’s actually coming from wherever that new sensation is also coming. That
sensation that is not warm.
It
intensifies.
I’m
not so sure about this.
It
seems like something big is going on.
The
most movement I’ve seen here has been little things, and I’m a little nervous
to be feeling and sensing so much at once.
Something
shocks me.
It’s
not warm and smooth, like the other things here.
How
can I describe what I don’t know for you?
It
starts to push into one of my elongations….actually clamps on it and pulls it.
Wait
a minute…
This
doesn’t feel right anymore.
Oh
well.
We’ll
keep going along with it.
I
think it’s ok.
It
doesn’t go away.
It
starts putting pressure on the elongation.
My
flow to that area, which I have been sensing in wonderful vibrancy, seems to
have a new sensation.
Sharp.
Not
comfortable.
The
feeling intensifies.
There
is another pull.
My
consciousness is teetering.
My
form starts to quake.
Something
may actually be wrong.
But
I know it will stop.
I’m going
on my new adventure…
Suddenly,
something bursts on and inside of me.
It’s
terrible.
I
can’t explain what’s happening.
But
I know I’m experiencing something new on my suction device, and I’m not liking
it.
Something
is touching it, and it’s a liquid.
But
it’s not the ooze.
It’s
thick.
And
the holes in my face seem to be filled with its sensation in a forceful manner.
It
feels unlike anything else here.
Intoxicating.
Unsafe?
Maybe
that’s the word.
Not comfortable.
But
I’ve got to push through this to get to the most wonderful place.
A
feeling of loss overwhelms my little habitat.
I
become aware that my elongation is no longer there.
And
then, I start to feel a tug and awful pull on my other elongation.
Then
one of the ones near my stomach…
Then the other.
No! What is going on?
Who is doing this, and why?
Where is my world of comfort and safety?
I try
not to panic as I consider what this could mean for my new adventure.
Maybe
I don’t need those elongations wherever this new one takes me.
All
the same, the throbbing, and the feeling of that growing thick liquid will not
go away…
God,
please at least just let the throbbing go away…
My
prayer goes unheard.
Something
reaches in and grabs at my stomach.
I
feel that my insides are churning, twisting and mixing with that liquid.
It
seems I’m getting squeezed and grabbed- then grabbed, and squeezed again.
I
hate that liquid. Why can’t it just be like the ooze? Comforting, warm,
encouraging. Something where I can nap?
My
senses are becoming overwhelmed…and this pressure is awful.
I
try to keep my chin up.
Because
there’s a new feeling.
It’s
a flow.
And
I like it. It’s almost comforting
I
sense it!
It’s
the new place!
The
place I am wanting to go!
I
almost feel that this is the moment for which I was made.
I
get ready to go with the flow.
Maybe
all the discomfort will go away now.
Maybe
this next place will be even better than the first; wouldn’t that be exciting?
I
wonder what lies ahead for me!
Looks
like there’s hope yet!
A
new adventure!
Clamp.
Something
clamps at me.
A
pressure tighter and more uncomfortable than anything I have ever felt knocks
upon me.
I
don’t know what just happened.
But
that suction.
              And now….there
is…..
P-ain….
               A….new……
*This short piece is dedicated to all the babies of America who never got a chance at their ‘new adventures’. One of the hugest blessings of family, is the formation and birth of a child to the husband and wife. This piece is inspired by the incredible pro- life movement from the ‘Unplanned’ movie that just came out. As a Christian, I want to stand for family, by also standing for the very heart and soul of that family; life!
If you feel led to comment, please do so in love for these babies, and not in hate for the decision makers in this process.
God bless,
Kelsie Ann Deschenes
Kelsied-istand4family 